friendships

A good friend recently asked a question that really resonated with me. He said, "Isn't it disappointing when you find out someone isn't who you originally thought they were?"

I think upon first look, this question would be more appropriate for relationships regarding boyfriends and girlfriends. However, in the wake of recent events (and without going into specifics), I have found this question relating more closely to my friendships. And beyond that, to just people in general. We all make certain assumptions about others and sometimes what we presume turns out to be true. But, more often in not in my life, the assumptions are not valid.

Perhaps I expect too much out of relationships and people in general? Nevertheless, I have recently been extremely frustrated regarding certain relationships. However, on the brighter side, I have been pleasantly surprised by others, which I had written off for some reason or another.

I guess the lesson for me in all of this is that nobody is perfect (including myself) and nobody is ever going to meet all of the expectations. However, there is also a time when relationships are no longer a benefit, and those should be let go. It's a hard decision, and even more difficult a task to act upon, but sometimes necessary. An aspect of Buddhism that I appreciate, and one that I relate to the aforementioned, is the concept of impermanence. In other words, life is constantly changing -- our thoughts, our cells, relationships, the landscape around us -- and instead of trying to freeze the present and hang onto it, impermanence suggests we learn to let go. Life is a process of constantly letting go and when we learn how to capably let go, we are truly free.

Coincidentally, the good friend who posed the initial question in this post was someone whom I sold short in the beginning of our relationship. Today, I'm thankful that he is in my life and is someone on whom I can depend.