slowing down

For as far back as my memory serves, I have been one who thrives in a busy environment. The more appointments on my calendar, the more effective I am. I relish days where the agenda includes a task to complete, a meeting to attend or a goal to conquer. And, more often than not, my days are a combination of all three and more. Busyness and I are not just friends -- we are intimate.

This lifestyle is not necessarily a bad thing, when it's properly shouldered by down days. But, therein lies the problem. Lately, there have been few breaks to accompany the jam-packed schedule that is my life. Moreover, add to the equation my predilection and overwhelming need to want to help (and, I admit it, please) others, and you get one stressed-out, overwhelmed and unbalanced individual. Cue, my life.

At the suggestion of a friend, I recently purchased and have begun reading the book, "my not so big life" by Sarah Susanka. In my 29 years, I have been fortunate to have discovered a few books that have really spoken to me and now I can add another to that list. Honestly, I felt as if I had written the introduction myself. Although I haven't had time to read very far into the book (yeah, yeah -- I see the irony), I have taken away so much already from the few pages consumed. The basic premise of the book (and the subtitle) is a guide for making room in your life for what really matters. One of my favorite passages in the book thus far goes like this, "Although we often believe there is no time for ourselves in our busy schedules, when we commit to making time, we find it's been there all along. We just haven't seen the possibility before."

For the first time in months, I made the choice to stay in two nights this week. Not only did I spend those evenings at home, but I allowed myself to relax, to read a book, to cook a nice dinner for one. I made a concerted effort not to just pass the time with frivolous activities, but to really slow down and be mindful of the moments. And, honestly, these moments were the most fulfilling I've experienced in a long time.

The goal of slowing down also corresponds nicely with my quest of being a more balanced person. I have learned the hard way (over and over again) that putting all my eyes in one metaphorical basket does not a fulfilled life make. Hence, when I'm not spending more time relaxing and taking care of me, I am going to branch out, expand my interests and discover activities that add value to my life. Don't get me wrong, I currently participate in and have people in my life that fit these qualifications. It's just that I feel the need to diversify my portfolio a bit.

So, if my Denver friends don't see me out-and-about as much, or I decline an offer for coffee, lunch or a night on the town, don't take it personal. It's just my way of slowing down and taking care of me.