disarray

As I sit at my desk and look around, there is one word that comes to mind to adequately describe what surrounds me -- disarray. I am concurrently working on two publications, gathering information for the big project of refurbishing our magazine (of which the most burdensome task will be convincing the designer that the pub needs a face life -- and believe me, it does), preparing for electricity camp next week and working on my portfolio for my Certified Cooperative Communicator program.

The vastness of the current list of projects is really not atypical from a traditional day at work, the state of my desk is what is altered. As someone who is usually VERY organized, the chaos that surrounds me is making my head spin.

The few minutes it's going to take me to organize my desk is not intimidating in the least. The scary part is how the current state of my work space is so indicative of my life right now. Between my travels in Wyoming and South Dakota a few weeks ago, hitting two deer ( and the subsequent insurance/collision shop, etc. dealings), the hectic 4th of July weekend and approaching week at camp, I have been putting off everything in my life that isn't directly related to the aforementioned events, which consequently resulted in a minor panic attack last night.

Adding to the current situation are the fact that I haven't set aside time to journal since I returned from Costa Rica and last month I only ran twice. Twice! For someone who frequents the gym at least four times a week, running twice in a month is not typical behavior. And my body feels it, as does my mind. I was also frivolous in my spending last month, which resulted in me having to borrow from my savings to pay for staple items such as groceries and household items. Not good.

Today my head is back on straight and, after spending some quality time with me last night, I realize that although being busy is a state I enjoy, it also allows me to lose my connection with myself, and that is an environment I don't like to occupy. So, beginning today -- more mindful actions and time for myself because at the end of the day, it's really just me, myself and I. And if I don't keep that group happy, nothing else will matter. Now on to task number one -- time to clean my desk.